Do you say things like ‘Once I get there I’ll…’ and when asked how you are you say ‘Getting there…’ In this probably pedantic blog I’ll try to unpick this and look at enjoying the process more than the outcome without sounding like a Danish lifestyle blogger.
It usually takes a few attempts before we can get new clients to verbalise what they actually want to get out of joining our little community. I think we have been programmed into giving a response like “1 stone” or “Just feel a bit fitter” so that enthusiastic coaches like me will stop asking questions, which is fair enough but one of the big aspects of behaviour change is really thinking about where you are and where you want to be.
The great part of this is all the bits in between. Being able to walk up the stairs without being a crumpled wreck, being seen as the strong one at work who is called upon to do the heavy lifting or not dreading going to the Christmas party as you can’t hide behind clothes there. We often miss this as we are trying to get “There” a mythical place where everything is better, you are suddenly transformed by being a size 12 or by being able to do a pull up. This is symptom of the horrible aspect of the fitness industry “The Transformation”, it plays into this idea that everything is about the outcome and the bit in the middle is unimportant and things will be completely transformed once you reach that goal.
If you have spent your time looking ahead then you haven’t taken time to appreciate everything else. There is a term in behaviour psychology called Friction and it’s premise is that the harder something is to achieve then the bigger the return you gain from it. You get more from a book because it is harder to read than it is to watch tv. You get more satisfaction from getting a new job if you worked hard for it than if you got it through nepotism. So if you work to get in shape and change your lifestyle you should get greater satisfaction than if you did a quick fad diet.
There comes a tipping point in the relationship between coach and client where the client is taking everything on board and getting results. They are maybe looking to tweak a few things but they don’t have that same anxiety and desire to reach “There” so you need to steer them towards something positive. We had our first IO Strong event in August and it was amazing. This job is often about losing things, weight, inches, habits and this event was about adding weights to the bar and created a completely new dynamic.
Seeing the change in people has been incredible as it makes them think about their identity, that fundamental story that they tell themselves “I am a person who struggles with my weight, I am someone who has never been good at sport etc” Now it is ” I am a person who is strong”. It has given clients the belief to go on and do something with their new body and push themselves to do something with it instead of just doing it to see what there is like.
“There” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and can often be a shifting target. If you are just focused on the horizon you can miss an opportunity to see all the other nice things along the way and places you want to visit. That is me officially flogging this metaphor to death.
We have a really cool offer on at that moment which is 1 month of coaching for £50* instead of £160, if you would like to come join us, get in touch today.
*Offer valid until 30th November 2017.